1/21/2009

Super Fun Happy Chinese Prison Camp!!!

I learn something new everyday. For instance, just yesterday I found out that prisons in China are really just super-fun-happy-summer-prison-camps! Really its just a "special school" where "chatting is another way of knowing and helping wrongdoers."



Who knew prison could be so idyllic?

Wrongdoer: "Hey Mr. Prison Officer, did you see the flowers blooming over here? Aren't they just swell? Sir, you don't mind if we just chit chat a bit do you? I have some things to get off my chest...'



And who knew the enriching wonders of child prison labor?

Headmaster Gaurd: "Oh, here son, did your machine jam again? Let me show you how to get back work. Ha, ha isn't this fun?"



Prisoners in China also receive top-notch legal consultations.

Mr. Lawyer: "Well, let me look through your papers one more time.... nope. It looks like you're screwed!"

Suspected Wrongdoer: "But Mr. Lawyer sir, there isn't any evidence to support my incarceration..."

Mr. Lawyer: "Hmm.... well, let us fill out some more paper work and we'll see what we can do. Give us a call, hmm, say next year. And in the mean time, I hear there a nice garden in the back. The flowers should be starting to bloom about this time of year..."

I just wish the Bush Administration could have done a better job at informing the public of the super-happy-fun-summer-camp in sunny Guantanamo Bay, Florida (?).

6 comments:

T said...

And now that spoilsport President Obama is going to shut Guantanamo down before I get to go (whether I want to or not). Oh well, I hear there are some super-happy-joyopolises in Eastern Europe where I can go instead.

Seriously though, there were people at the bar who were bitching about that last night. How many drinks to I need to have before chucking my glass at them is justified?

T

naokoandjeff said...

T,

No need to throw glasses. Try just chatting with the wrongdoer, its a great way to get to know and help them correct their errors.

Cheasty said...

oh my god, jeff, where did you find this? it's hilarious!

naokoandjeff said...

I found it while getting a drink of water at the library. Next to the fountain they have an assorted bunch of books, pamphlets, etc. related to tourism. Things like Fyodor's guide to Mexico, First Lady Hilary Clinton's Guide to the White House, the Roman Collesium, and, of course, a come-to-China-and-visit-our-prisons pamplet. Nothing is labeled it just sitting on a shelf, sort of like waiting in the lobby of a doctors office.

Renny said...

That's hilarious! I just went to Vietnam and visited the prison where John McCain was held, and they had photos all over the walls of American prisoners playing basketball, celebrating Christmas, reading classical literature, etc. If I ever start a life of crime (or warfare), I'm doing it in Asia!

naokoandjeff said...

Renny,

I heard it through the grapevine from a network of former-Vietnamese-communists-prison-gaurds that McCain's facial deformities actually came from playing basketball too rough. And his problems raising his arms was actually from reading too much classical literature... hanging upside down... in front of a Christmas tree. Good times.